Before all of this, however, over the weekend Sam informed me that I looked like a bag lady. I was wearing old clothes that I've had for awhile and just can't seem to let go of for the time being. I laughed because it's funny, but at the same time, I know there is a part of me that fears giving up old clothes. After all, I've never had a point in life that I didn't gain the weight back. Why would this time be any different? There are reasons for it to have a different outcome this time, but it's tough to admit that when all I've known is defeat in the past. I don't want to have a negative outlook about all of this, but when people tell me to "visualize" what I will be in the future, I don't even know where to go with that thought. I often picture someone else who has a body I'd hope to have. Let's face it, when one has never been a normal body weight, how can one have an image of what it will be at some arbitrary point in the future?
|This is the "bag lady" ensemble for the day (apologies for the fuzzy photo).|
|Yep, I actually fit in one leg of the pants... kinda crazy... mind you, they weren't tight before, but still.|
|One of the pairs of jeans I tried out... the legs seem to be snug no matter what size I try.|
"Fatty, fatty, two by four,
Can't get through the kitchen door,
When the door begins to shake,
Fatty got a belly ache!"