Thursday, March 8, 2012

New Beginnings

This is the story of how one fat girl is turning into a very strong woman. As I begin the story, I should point out that I am, indeed, still the fat girl, but I believe with every ounce of my being that it is possible to become the strong woman I know I can be. My story may or may not coincide with yours, and you may or may not find that you identify with pieces of my tale, but either way I hope to re-motivate myself when needed, and have some history to be able to look over when I am feeling down.

What's my story? I have been overweight (obese) my entire life. I am (according to the doctor's charts) extremely overweight. How did it happen? Slow and steady. You'd think with that much extra weight it would be difficult to get around, but I've adapted, and I've always been active. Although not horribly coordinated, I do enjoy sports, riding a bike, and believe it or not, I even ran and completed a marathon just a few years ago (even with all the excess weight).

I sometimes think I came out of the womb a chunky baby because the universe knew that it would be cruel to make me thin for a few months, only to immediately turn into a chunk-a-dunk child. My entire family has been overweight or obese at various points in their individual lives. My husband is not fat. He is athletic and strong, and I sometimes wonder why a person who's in such great shape (even without trying) would want to be with someone who is struggling to fit into her tent-sized jeans.

When we first dated, I was smaller, but not by much. Our initial meeting was somewhat a blind date and I was not thrilled with the prospect of meeting someone who didn't know what I looked like. I don't think I'm ugly, but so many people in this world are obsessed with body image, and I didn't want to deal with another rejection (particularly from someone I was trying to date), nor was I interested in landing a "chubby chaser." As the universe would have it, we were stuck like glue to each other pretty much from that first date. Little did I know that he was a perfect balance for all the madness that is my life. He sees the beauty when I have only disgust. I hope to see myself through his eyes one day.

While there is much more to the story, I suppose I will leave it there for now. Tomorrow is a new day - that is the beauty of each morning - no matter what has happened, I can make the choice to start fresh again.

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